Are you a RESCUER?

The Struggle: Do I stay and help OR leave to save myself? 

I can admit it. I am a rescuer. It is a weakness, and perhaps some would probably even consider a MAJOR flaw of mine. I have been going through experiences since around my senior year of college where I would be the person who would try to rescue people who were either hurting, had issues, came from a broken family, or whatever the case may have been. I simply wanted to help people. It was the nurturing spirit in me, which I get from my mother by the way. But sometimes it can be what I like to call ‘Mother Hen’ behavior. You know where you are trying to hover and protect the person, and doing ALL you can to help them, and the reality is you can’t. Meanwhile, the person is just viewing you as the annoying ‘mother’ who is nagging them and won’t leave them alone! 

When people have NO intention of changing - they will start sucking the love, joy and strength right out of you and your life. Sometimes this is very subtle at first, and even in my last relationship I was in denial that someone who loved me 'so much' would ever want to do such hurtful things to me.

But because you are a “good person” you stick around because you know you’re “supposed" to stand by people, especially those you love and make a commitment to. Deep inside you hope you can help “fix” them or help them beat the fight against their problem. 

Well, I am here to tell you I have tried to be that person. One of the main things I noticed when I reflect back is that when I started getting entangled in other's problems and all of these other issues, my own life, dreams, and faith started falling apart. Me trying to help someone I loved was LITERALLY sucking all the focus, strength, and joy out of my life! 

FINALLY, I reset my priorities. God first. Daniella and family second. Starting and managing a business to provide for our future and make a positive impact in the world to follow. 

So why I am blogging about this? 

Just be AWARE if you are a self-proclaimed rescuer like myself.

When you start letting other’s behavior and poor life choices ruin your life, while all you are trying to do is help them, you need TO GO. When people are INFECTING your life like that, when you are trying to affect them by helping them, take it as the sign to let things go. It is NEVER easy to do. Trust me, I KNOW. But when you are trying to genuinely help people, and they are clearly resistant, in denial, or even worse lie about what they are doing — the BEST thing you can do for THEM is walk away.

Don’t get me wrong, I have compassion for people who are going through trying times and just don’t have things quite "figured out" yet, but there comes a point where you have to stop feeling sorry for and enabling them. Sometimes you have to step back and realize that maybe you aren’t “the one” who is going to help “fix them” - it simply isn’t part of the plan. Ultimately, there is only ONE who can help them and they often won’t look up to Him and surrender until they hit rock bottom and there is nowhere else to look but up. Best part is, He shows up every single day, just like the sunrise and will keep showing up, no matter what they do and no matter what choices they make, until they surrender.